Dating Etiquette: Saying no.

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I was asked to “catch a movie later” by someone that I met in a professional capacity. I felt like I was in a safe space and it completely caught me off guard. I didn’t know what to say. What’s a proper and respectful way to say no? The problem is that my facial expressions can either make or break you. So, lately I’ve been practicing my resting face.

There’s a few things to ponder:

I don’t really trust myself in this area, yet. My judge of character instincts have taken a major blow. Heck, I have to check myself and make sure that I am who I say or think that I am.

I’m alone, not lonely. This is my first time being single in a long time and let me just say that it’s refreshing. Don’t get me wrong. I am all in for a good fairy tale romance. I still have love in my soul. However, I have gotten to know a different side of myself. And I LOVE her!

I’m not rushing ANYTHING. I’ve lived and learned that lesson. To ask me to “catch a movie” and I don’t know your last name (and have to think very hard to remember your first name) is clearly moving too quickly. Jeez, without that information, I can’t preform a proper background check. If I can’t run a complete background, including financial and medical, then don’t bother. At this point, I need a background check on the Pope.

It’s all about delivery. When delivering unwelcoming news, it’s important to consider the other person’s feelings. I really didn’t know this person. Truthfully, the thought of dating anyone at this time is repulsive. I’m sure that will eventually change. So, I had to channel all of my inner self-control and remember that the person in front of me didn’t do anything to me and was simply trying to shoot his shot. So, as respectfully as I could, I said “Thanks for the offer. Sorry to decline.”. That was it. No explanation given. I’d like to remain strangers.

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